
Mira sat at her desk, and turned on her computer. Her iTunes loaded, and she turned up the volume, as she sipped a glass of gin and tonic. The glow of the screen offered enough light that she didn’t need her lamps or the overhead… or the bathroom light that frightened her nightmares away.
I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way… I just stopped.
She stopped typing, reading and rereading the line, one of many poems she’d never completely finished, and she thought about how true the words were. She had. Just stopped. And she couldn’t remember why or when, only that she had… and it hurt.
She remembered a time in her life when she loved her life. Not life, in general, but her life. There were parts that were dark, where she felt alone, and afraid, but she’d even loved those parts. She lived, and she loved, and in that love there was undeniable passion, especially when they were together… but then it was gone, and nothing made sense to her anymore.
So she stopped…
Caring…
Being…
Loving…
Living…
Existing…
As she sat and thought about the words on the screen, she wondered if once again this would be another piece left unfinished, and then she thought yes… it would. Finishing was not something she ever did. Finality scared her more than the dark. When something ended it was over… gone… forever. There were a few pieces she almost finished, enough that the words on the pages were understandable when read by others, but they always lacked the final scene, or sentence, or word… because that would have been too close to final.
Mira opened a file so she could look at the last poem she’d almost finished, and as she read through it, she wondered if maybe this time… this time she could end it… if maybe this time she could say goodbye…
I Can’t Remember
The radio’s on,
It’s never turned off.
I can’t remember the last time I
Was around quiet
The lights are still off,
I haven’t turned them on.
I can’t remember the last time I
Was around light
It’s smoky in here,
A bad habit of mine
I can’t remember the last time I
Was around fresh air
I’m so tired,
Tired of life
I can’t remember the last time I
Really slept
You still haunt me
Memories and dreams of you
I can’t remember the last time I …
And then she remembered what it was she couldn’t before… She flipped off the computer and sat in her darkness, trying desperately to remember his face.
Tags: Jordan Drew, life, love, poetry, Short Story, writing